As soon as you arrived, you left us with the fresh and sweet taste of fennel, and the smell of spring could reach every room.
You were a gift from the sun itself, the brightest, warmest, and loveliest of rays, that illuminated not just my life, but dad’s, grandpa’s and most importantly Soap’s.
You were that one in a billion rabbit who could love so much and so intensely that we mistook you for an angel, one that could never stop loving and thanking us for the love we provided to you.
We know that the best tend to leave first, and it was true with you, they needed you caring for all of those scared abandoned rabbits, those that are terrified in a small cage, those that can no longer walk due to their injuries, those that have not known love.
You will know boundless love from them, such as you gave boundless love to us.
May you rest in peace, Sabine, Miss, Sosig, Chachi, Guapina, Daughter, Love. We will never forget how much you gave without expecting a thing back.
May you can run free in the mountains, eating that fennel that you brought, the dandelion spring, the thistle autumn and the warmest winter.
I will forever love you, my love, my daughter, and you will be immortalised, always, in my eyes, in my skin, in my hands.
Thank you forever, for the love that you brought us.
Thank you forever for your time here.
Fly high, sun ray, angel;
today the sun finally shines brighter than you.
Sosig was sick the day before, we could not notice why.
She was still eating hay in small quantities and was still enjoying pets, but she seemed extremely off and tired.
I spent the entire night keeping an eye on her and hoping that she would get better, but she did not, although she did not get worst either.
The next day, we left for the vets as soon as possible and got there at around 11 in the morning, where they checked her.
She was seemingly fine, except for a bit of blood on the gums by the molar.
Due to the vet not being able to check correctly, he suggested to put her under anaesthesia so we could both check the teeth and take some x-rays.
I waited for some time for the anaesthetics team to get to site, and before they got her in, they called me.
I came back to a very groggy Miss, she did not feel like she was recovering alright, but I had never seen recoveries with that type of anaesthetics before, so I was unsure if it was supposed to be like that.
They discovered a bad molar on the upper-left side and took it out seemingly perfect. They said she had a pretty good pre-anaesthetic and anaesthetic time, and that she had a good prognosis now that the tooth was out.
They gave me medications, I paid, and left.
After a while, I noticed that I had forgotten the medications on the clinic, it was OK because we were in the car stopped, and my dad was shopping, it was quite calm and silent, and dad was checking on her.
She was still alive by then.
We went back to the vet to get the antibiotics, and left the city.
At some point on our trip back, I saw her laying weirdly, and barely breathing at all.
I thought it was her somehow sleeping or chilled out because she fully woke up and was not moving due to the fear of the car sounds.
About 45 minutes later, we arrived home and the truth came to light.
We instantly got everything ready to bury her, and got Soap back in the house. The poor thing looked terrified.
I was and still am to the point of me writing this, in some sort of dissociative shock.
She’s now laying somewhere filled with nature, plants and fresh air.
We have made sure no water nor predator can get to her.
If at any point you have a weird feeling about a procedure, especially if you kind of know how they work, please do follow your instincts.
I was in the verge of asking them not using ketamine as part of the inducting anaesthetics, and I am sure that was the med that got her.
PLEASE do speak up, even if you feel like you don’t know enough. That was my fault.
Regardless, I do not blame myself nor the vets.
These things happen, sadly, and anaesthetic deaths are more common that you may imagine.
As for today, I am still fragile.
There is not a moment where I don’t see her around still.
Yet today it feels like crying for her would be an insult to what she meant and who she was.
The sun shines doubly as hard as yesterday, giving me the same warmth, and reminiscing of that warmth she provided.
Today I will not feel cold or sorrow, although my sadness still remains.
Today I will remind myself why I brought her here, how much I loved her, and how much love and happiness she gave me.
That’s who I want to remember.
Alas I still find the tears to miss her, and to mourn her, despite how much my throat and eyes hurt, and how much my heart aches.
There is no way to cope so fast with the loss of a child, the little creature that you gave part of your soul to, and that part is taken forever.
And I don’t want it back, I want her to take me with her forever, until we can meet again.
I am not religious, and definitely not spiritual, but the thought of seeing them again, and meeting again, is so comfortable and lovely…
Today we keep mourning, and despite the tears we look forwards, for her and for who she was.
I still love you, and I still miss you.
Sosig, mum and dad want to dedicate these songs and their lyrics to you. I hope you like them.
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